Looking to place my kids to play some kind of sport was difficult for me, what if they don’t like .  But we decided to just give it a try .  So we signed them both for Challenger little league baseball.  We went to our very first game on Friday ( first for even my husband and me).  I was surprised of  how much they enjoyed the game.  The coach was amazing in understanding  of all the kids.  Everyone was given a chance to bat and pitch.  Hitting the ball and getting to first base , you could see how proud both my kids were.    I am glad we decided to give it a try.  I expected screaming and crying and all the good stuff that goes with it, but it went  a lot better then we thought.  Giving them a chance to experience things rather then asking them or assuming they may not like it, was a good decision. One thing  is for sure the impossible CAN be possible, sometimes.

Sometimes, good things happen during bad time. Yes it is true, my husband is out of work for a few months now and the children have gotten more close to him. My daughter is a daddy’s girl but my son is a mommy’s boy and with his dad been at home, it was a bit difficult for him. From me been there to his dad, it was out of his routine. My son has autism and does not do well in change but as time went on, now he looks to him for help. The best part was he choose his dad over me for certain things, which made me sad and happy at the same time. To be honest it is kind of a break for me. It is so good to see them get even closer and I know that would not change now.

I always thought going to the county fair would be a challenge with my son. As long as someone is sitting next to him he probably would be fine and that would be the only way he would sit through the ride. I was scared of him trying to get off the rides while in mid motion. His dad went with him on the first ride , all went well. On the second ride, his dad let him go alone, to honest I was not happy at all, but I bit my tongue and just prayed everything would be fine. I could not wait for the ride to be over, and it was. I was over joyed and at the same time felt not needed. But as I watched him ride more rides on his own, I noticed something he looked so proud. It was good seeing that look on his face. I know I have to let him spread his wings and become more brave and independent. One thing is for sure, he might need me less but I always let him know that we will always be there for him whenever he needs us.

Taking my daughter grocery shopping is not so fun, with all the candy, soda sitting all right there at the check-out stand. She would cry for her candy which I hate buying. But this trip to the store was so funny. We had done shopping and was paying. Then all of a sudden she started to scream and cry, I thought oh no the candy, yeah I gave in and gave it to her. But she said no and I could not figure why she was crying . She pointed to the bags in the cart, so I carried her over and looked in the bags to see what she wanted. I could not believe she was crying for her string cheese. Yes string cheese I could not believe it. But at the same time I was so proud she wanted her cheese instead of the candy. It is good to see that she looks up to her brother, he had gotten her started with cheese. I feel so proud to see they are learning from each other. Now I just hope they only learn the good habits. I know wishful thinking, but I can hope.

I was having my 4 month ultra sound done when the Dr looked at me and said ” I think there is something wrong”. My heart dropped to the floor but been brave asked what is wrong. Dr said, She might not be able to move from the waist down and needed to do an intensive ultra sound to be sure. Did all the ultra sounds and it all confirmed it. I cried and cried but knew I had to be strong her her. Getting to know all that was to be known about Caudal Regression Syndrome (CRS) and accepting the worse. Thinking of how I am going to do this, having a son who has autism and having a baby with CRS. When I looked at the monitor and just seeing her, I knew I can do this. Scared out of my mind of not knowing what will happen. But when she was born, nothing seemed to matter. Seeing her face for the first time, I knew I can do this.

When she came home, my son became a big brother and keeping a watchful eye on her all the time. I wanted to do everything for her, did not want her to feel any pain. But I knew I had to think with my head and not just my heart. Sitting in front of her and waited for her to figure out a way she has to move to get to me, was the best thing ever. She worked her way to me and I saw that joy in her face of “I did it”. That gave me the courage to let her find her way to do things. And today she has, she has such a will power to do things her way, does not like to be helped unless she really needs it. And she loves her freedom of moving with her cool wheelchair.

I am happy she is who she is and she is not her disability…

My son has autism and giving him a camera was the best thing we have done. He has limited speech. He takes photos of what he likes. This really helps with understanding his likes and seeing things through his eyes. It is also interesting to see what catches his attention, and animals are what he love alot.